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This is just as true with a lack of dating experience as it is with other areas in life. Many people who have no dating or sexual experience worry about being a bad kisser or a bad lay or not knowing how affectionate to be in public or any of a myriad insecurities and anxieties.Having little (or no) experience has nothing to do with who you are as a person; it’s a contextless data point in your life. But No matter how many partners we’ve had or haven’t had, we all come to a new relationship not knowing the other person’s likes and dislikes.The difference is deceptively simple, but it makes a world of difference.
Someone who’s had many sex partners may be the last of the red hot lovers… Someone who’s had very few may well be shy and awkward…
If you venture into any Forever Alone or incel community like /r9k/, you’ll see hundreds of people lamenting how much sex they’ve never had and how the world is conspiring against them.
That’s not taking ownership of being socially inexperienced; that’s making it the core of your identity and letting it overtake your life.
Just because the last 40 women you made out with liked the Swirly-Go-Round doesn’t mean that it’s not going to make your partner’s skin crawl. Do your research where you can (here’s a great place to start…), take some risks, make some mistakes.
Great sex isn’t about technique, it’s about comfort and familiarity. Letting your inexperience be your excuse for not trying or expecting someone else to always lead isn’t going to do you any good.